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Author Topic: Musician Jokes  (Read 16662 times)

Offline Ocker

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Musician Jokes
« Reply #15 on: October 12, 2005, 02:30:42 PM »
How many guitar player's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
5.. 1 to do the job and 4 to stand around telling each other how much better they would have done it.

Only through death may one truly live!
(soon to have 2005 Mojo Flame)
2003 MWC handcrafted Dragonfly W GK internal
1988 Vantage Vp850 W GK2
A myriad of accoustics
VG*8ex
GR*30
Rawda industries custom pedal board
A plethora of effects
1974 VT Twin 60
1972 VT Phasor Twin
Only through death may one truly live!
2006 P8En
2005 Mojo Flame BCH
2000 Fly Classic *hardtail*
2003 MWC handcrafted Dragonfly W GK internal
1988 Vantage Vp850 W GK2
A myriad of accoustics
VG*8ex
GR*30
Rawda industries custom pedal board
A plethora of effects
1974 VT Twin 60
1972 VT Phasor Twin

Musician Jokes

Offline Ocker

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Musician Jokes
« Reply #16 on: October 12, 2005, 02:31:59 PM »
Whats the best thing you can get a musician for his birthday?
A Girlfriend with a job!

Only through death may one truly live!
(soon to have 2005 Mojo Flame)
2003 MWC handcrafted Dragonfly W GK internal
1988 Vantage Vp850 W GK2
A myriad of accoustics
VG*8ex
GR*30
Rawda industries custom pedal board
A plethora of effects
1974 VT Twin 60
1972 VT Phasor Twin
Only through death may one truly live!
2006 P8En
2005 Mojo Flame BCH
2000 Fly Classic *hardtail*
2003 MWC handcrafted Dragonfly W GK internal
1988 Vantage Vp850 W GK2
A myriad of accoustics
VG*8ex
GR*30
Rawda industries custom pedal board
A plethora of effects
1974 VT Twin 60
1972 VT Phasor Twin

Musician Jokes

Offline NathanO

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Musician Jokes
« Reply #17 on: October 12, 2005, 02:55:55 PM »
whats the difference between a drummer and cheess?

cheese matures eventually :D

i actually made that up my self.. im quite impressed :P

Regards,

Nathan

Musician Jokes

Offline telecasterkid

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    • http://www.burningindecember.com
Musician Jokes
« Reply #18 on: October 23, 2005, 11:47:17 AM »
"New Stompboxes......."

Active pickup: (Amplifies "signals" to attractive members of the audience.)
Time distorter: (Makes solos seem longer. Can also be achieved by ineptitude.)
Blame shifter: (Drops mistakes down an octave, so the audience thinks the bass player did it.)
Depander: (Filters out popular cover songs.)
Overjive: (Makes a good tune sound like the latest garbage.)
Fluff box: (Filters out musical substance.)
Rehash: (Stores and plays back your favorite riffs forever.)
Feedback eliminator: (Removes constructive criticism.)
Depressor: (Changes any chord to E minor.)
Paralytic Equalizer: (Makes you as good as other guitarists in band by injecting them with nerve toxins.)


Kevin Schertell
www.burningindecember.com
CD "No Way Out" Available now!
Kevin Schertell
www.burningindecember.com
www.myspace.com/burnin12
CD "No Way Out" Available now!

Music Boulevard, Inc.
1232-2 Blanding Blvd.
Orange Park, Fl. 32065
904-276-2520
musicboulevard@earthlink.net
Owner/President

Musician Jokes

Offline loumt123

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Musician Jokes
« Reply #19 on: October 23, 2005, 11:55:24 AM »
Feedback Eliminator and Blame shifter are hilarious lol
 

Musician Jokes

Offline TheGuitarGuy

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Musician Jokes
« Reply #20 on: October 24, 2005, 02:00:49 AM »
How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven, one to change and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.


What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer.






Parker PM-20(Bubinga)
Hondo Paul Dean II(Customized)
Marchis Les Paul Copy(1970)
Garnet Lil' Rock Tube Amp[2 piece](1970)
Behringer Vintager Amp
Dan Electro Dan Echo
Dan Electro Free Speech(talk box)
Dan Electro Grilled Cheese
Dunlop Fuzz Face
Dunlop Crybaby Wah
Original Boss Chorus Ensemble
KORG 2 channel Volume Pedal
KORG ToneWorks AX1500G
Fostex MR-8HD
DAVA Control Picks
My Music

"Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." -- Jim Morrison

Musician Jokes

Offline David Tomkins

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Musician Jokes
« Reply #21 on: October 24, 2005, 09:03:00 AM »
where can i get a "blameshifter" pedal??!!  i need one all the time!
2005 Green Quilted Maple Custom Mojo signed by Steve Vai, 2006 Parker Fly T-Shirt, 2006 Parker Fly Baseball Cap.  A triple-whammy of Parker goodness!!

Musician Jokes

Offline DrJeff

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Musician Jokes
« Reply #22 on: October 25, 2005, 12:30:08 PM »
C Eb and G walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "Hey, we don't serve minors!"



Rgds,
Jeff
Rgds,
Jeff

Musician Jokes

Offline Rozz

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Musician Jokes
« Reply #23 on: October 25, 2005, 01:34:07 PM »
What do you get when you throw a grand piano down a mine shaft?
A Flat Minor!

What has three legs and a butt hole on top of it?
A Drum Throne!

Jerry Rosner
Original Yuma, Arizona Mad Man
Emerald Green Fly Classic
P-36
Gibson Chet Atkins Nylon
Vetta II
Gallien Kruger Guitar Amp through 4X10 Yamaha Cab.
Jerry Rosner
Original Yuma, Arizona Mad Man
Emerald Green Fly Classic
P-36
Gibson Chet Atkins Nylon
Line Six Vetta II
Genz Benz Shannandoah Acoustic Amp.  4X10

Musician Jokes

Offline trap

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Musician Jokes
« Reply #24 on: October 25, 2005, 03:59:56 PM »
-why is a guitar player like a vacuum cleaner? plug them in and they both suck!                      
- did you hear about the accordianist who left his accordian in the back seat of his car while he ate? yeah, he rushed out and sure enough someone had broken in and left two more accordians!
 

Musician Jokes

Offline Bill

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  • What is this ?
Musician Jokes
« Reply #25 on: November 04, 2005, 06:34:51 AM »
Playing Parker Flys can make you Mentally Guitarded!![:p]--Ok swaggers, I want that one on a bumper sticker!!![:0][:D]

Fly Deluxe 2000;Gibson es 137;       AlverezYari '75; SchecterDisposable; Martin Backpacker
« Last Edit: November 04, 2005, 02:59:10 PM by Bill »
A few Flys in my soup

Musician Jokes

Offline Gordman

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Musician Jokes
« Reply #26 on: November 04, 2005, 07:42:48 PM »
"Mentally Guitarded."  Politically incorrect, but I like it!
 

Musician Jokes

Offline JPage

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Musician Jokes
« Reply #27 on: November 07, 2005, 01:26:56 PM »
Can't resist - check this out...

http://www.flashfunpages.com/couple.swf

John
 

Musician Jokes

Offline JSanta

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Musician Jokes
« Reply #28 on: November 07, 2005, 01:35:04 PM »
That is classic!  I bookmarked it so I can show everyone!

-Jim

"Do not speak.  Unless it improves on silence."
           -Buddha
 

Musician Jokes

Offline NathanO

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Musician Jokes
« Reply #29 on: November 07, 2005, 03:54:52 PM »
hilarious :P

Regards,

Nathan